Communication Skills
by bethanyanne
Summary: Deeks and Kensi finally communicate how they feel, then all hell breaks loose. Spoilers for the finale.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I have forgotten about Gunpowder and Sunshine, this just came to me after watching the finale, I will be updating G&S shortly, in the mean time please enjoy this new story and I have a feeling it's going to be a long one. Disclaimer, I own nothing, and there are spoilers for the finale in here possibly spoilers for some other episodes. I am also going to make the assumption that Eric and Nell had eyes on Kensi and Deeks and saw what took place. **

Chapter 1

Hetty wasn't in ops when the kiss took place, which was probably a good thing. Nell and Eric looked at each other in silent agreement that they wouldn't reveal what just happened to Granger or Hetty. Over coms they heard Deeks ask Kensi "How's that for communication," as he backed slowly away from her. Little did Eric and Nell know how bad things would go after Kensi drove off. When Deeks sounded the alarm about Sam and went down to the house Eric notified Hetty, by the time Callen had arrived Deeks and Sam were both missing.

"Contact Ms. Blye let her know the situation." Hetty instructed.

"Um, I am not sure that is a good idea." Eric said, to which Nell jabbed him in the waist. Clearly the look they shared that said this couldn't go any further hadn't taken with Eric.

"Why is that Mr. Beale?"

"Well, um, uh, Kensi kind of has her hands full with Michelle."

"She and Mrs. Hanna need to be informed as to the status of Detective Deeks and Sam."

"Hetty something happened right before Kensi left the house, I just am not sure now would be a good time to tell her that there is a problem with Detective Deeks."

"Eric I do not care if Kensi and Detective Deeks kissed just let her know that he has been taken."

With that Hetty turned and left ops, leaving both Eric and Nell in shocked silence.

Kensi struggled, pulling Michelle up through the broken window. The Russians had escaped, she made her decision without contacting ops, save Sam's wife, then worry about finding the Russians, by now they had probably contacted Siderov, Sam's cover was undoubtedly blown.

"Eric, it's Kensi, I think Sam's covers been blown you need to get ahold of him and warn him." She said when Michelle was resting on the edge of the window.

"Kensi, something went down at the house after you left. Both Sam and Deeks are missing."

"What do you mean?"

"We lost contact with both of them, Sam went dark, Deeks went down to find out what happened. Callen has already been to the house there is blood there we are pretty sure Siderov has them both."

Kensi felt a tightening in her chest. Her lips still tingled where he had kissed her. She could still taste him, it couldn't end like this, they couldn't end like this, there was still so much left to say and she had to admit that she liked the way Deeks communicated.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Back at the boat shed, Kensi felt like she was going crazy. They stopped Callen from bashing Janvier's head in but that was about all. They were no closer to finding Sam and Deeks. She stood up and paced back and forth in front of the screen. Granger was leaning on Janvier, trying to find out if he knew where the meet was set to go down, if the sale for the nukes was still going through that would be there opportunity to get Sam and Deeks back.

"It's hard," Michelle said, handing Kensi a cup of water. "The first night he is away on a mission I cannot sleep. Every day when he goes out the door I have to remind myself that this is what we do, and that if it weren't for this job we would have never met, but it is still difficult."

Her revelation pulled Kensi out of her reverie and reminded her that this woman was missing her husband. "We'll get Sam back." Kensi tried to sound reassuring.

Michelle smiled, "and we will get Detective Deeks back. Tell me Kensi, has he told you how he feels about you?"

"Not in so many words." Kensi said, touching her fingers to her lips, wanting to remember that ghost of his kiss, trying to conjure up how it felt, how he tasted. Not wanting to forget.

"But you know. You realize that he loves you very much."

"I don't know if I would go that far," Kensi said blushing.

"When Sam and I decided to cross that line it was hard. A lot harder than you might think; but Kensi it's worth it. Do not hold back because you realize it is going to be a difficult, because trust me it is well worth all of the hardship."

She sauntered away from Kensi as Granger made his way back out of the interrogation room.

"Janvier claims to not know if the deal is still going down." Granger said, "We need to start working on another plan Agent Byle."

"With the Russians getting away we can assume that they will be in contact with Sidorov and they will let him know that Michelle is an agent,"Kensi said.

"Which is why I would make the perfect bait," Michelle said. "Sidorov just contacted me; he wants me to meet up with him at his house."

"You cannot go back there," Kensi said.

"I can and will."

"Michelle, if you go back you could die."

"If I do not go back Sam and Deeks will die."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I decided to update early instead of waiting till tomorrow, and I also made this chapter a bit longer than the first two since I have had a few comments that the chapters are not long enough. Thank you all for the reviews, I do read them even if I do not respond to each of you personally. **

They were back, kneeling in the same place that Deeks and she had knelt just a few hours ago. The tingle was almost completely gone. When they first pulled up to monitor Michelle's meet Kensi couldn't hardly get out of the car. The memory exploded on her as she thought back to the kiss and everything that was behind it. Three years of arguing, struggling, flirting, and finally it exploded in one moment when Deeks finally responded honestly about how he felt.

"You okay?" Callen shook her out of her reverie pulled her back to the present. Protect Michelle, get Deeks back. She had to stay focused. There would be plenty of time to talk to Deeks, about the kiss, about what it meant. She wasn't going to skate around the issue any more. She was going to stay focused and when she got him back she was going to make sure that he knew exactly how she felt.

"I'm fine. Let's get this done."

"We will get them back." Callen said, more reassuring himself than Kensi.

They watched through Binoculars as Michelle approached the house. She was as calm as could be. Detached, Kensi wondered if she would be the same way if the roles were reversed and she had to go down there. She had to remind herself that this was a little bit different, Michelle and Sam were married, and she and Deeks weren't.

"It's about time." Sidorov said when Michelle walked up.

"Where is David?"

"He was an undercover agent" Sidorov leveled a gun at Michelle's head. Kensi started to rise, but Callen stopped her.

"What?" She said back peddling.

"I am told that you are an agent as well."

"You have to be kidding me, how long have we worked together."

"You brought David Foreman around."

"He came to me, he was probably investigating me. Sidorov if I knew he was an undercover agent I would have put a bullet through his head myself."

The gun was still there, Sidorov hadn't lowered it yet. "How do I know you are not an agent also."

"Would I have come back here if I was?" Michelle moved closer, close enough to disarm him, "If David was an undercover agent and you killed him surely his agency is looking for him, they would have to know that he is missing and if I was an agent then I would know too, I wouldn't have come back here."

"Perhaps, if you didn't think he was already dead."

Sidorov lowered the gun, and Michelle didn't flinch. "That's better, now you are sure that all of the agents have been neutralized?"

"What do you mean?" Sidorov asked.

"There is no way David is the only agent, he had to have back up."

"We got him also."

"Killed?"

"Yes, why this sudden interest."

"Because you are not my only client, some of the people I work for would not take kindly to finding out that an agent had gotten close to me. You're killing them has made things much easier on me."

"We still have to go through with the sale." Sidorov said.

"Is there any reason why we cannot use the buyer you had set up."

"The broker is the one who tipped me off to David being an agent, I think we can trust him and the buyer to come through with the rest of the money."

"Then let's complete this sale and I will take you up on your offer. We can get out of this country."

"I will set up the rest of the sale, there is one other thing." With that the gun came back up. "The girls tell me that you attacked them at the warehouse, that they pushed you out of a window, and heard someone yelling for Michelle. Quinn that wouldn't be you real name, would it?"

"I do not know what you are talking about, yes they attacked me, yes I fought back, when I went out the window I was able to grab ahold of sheet and pull myself back in, I don't know why they didn't stick around I assumed they attacked me and threw me out that window because they were after my share of the sale. In the elevator on the way up they made a comment about how you loved me and that didn't make them happy."

"You want me to believe that they attacked you because they were jealous."

"That is why I assume they attacked me, maybe they did it because one of them was an agent and they needed to sell their cover. Could they have found out that you knew about David on our way over to the warehouse?" Michelle asked.

Through it all she remained calm, cool, collected. She didn't flinch with the gun pointed in her face, and Kensi wondered if she could handle this much stress. Just watching it, hearing Sidorov say that Sam and Deeks were dead made her want to go down there and finish the job. She wanted Sidorov to suffer as much as she was sure Deeks had suffered.

"I do not believe you that you think one of the girls was an agent."

"How long have you worked with them Sidorov? How long have you worked with me? Come on there was a time when you trusted me, I earned your trust. How well do you really know those girls?"

He lowered the gun again. "They were told to find out if you were an agent; they knew we had a spy when you left for the warehouse."

"Which explains why they attacked me. It wouldn't surprise me if they were both agents probably working for the same people who sent David to us." Thinking on her feet Michelle added, "When you sent David away at the beginning of the job he probably figured you would only work with and trust women, they set us up. Two women sent in as what protection?"

"I have known them along time."

"They have been agents the whole time, Sidorov I am positive of that."

"They probably told David to get close to you and when it didn't work they came back to work another angle." Sidorov said, buying Michelle's story.

"They need to be dealt with, we need to sell the nukes and get the hell out of this country before any more agent's come out of the wood work."

"I will have to go back and finish off the two I picked up."

"What" Michelle asked.

"David and his partner are still alive being held by one of my men."

"Let me do it." Michelle insisted, "He compromised me, he made you think I was an agent. Let me put a bullet through his head."

Sidorov nodded, "Of course, that will make you feel better and it will make me believe that you are not an agent."

"Yes, take me to David and let me put a bullet through his brain" she said again.

Sidorov took Michelle's arm and led her away from the house and to his waiting vehicle. Callen took that moment to notify ops that they were on the move and hopefully going to the location where Sam and Deeks were being held, and they believed that both men were still alive. He filled in ops all the while monitoring Kensi, she wasn't herself, distant withdrawn. Whatever was going on between her and Deeks needed to be resolved quickly so that they could continue to work together. Ops went bad, and if Kensi couldn't focus when Deeks was in trouble they were going to have to work out a new partnership arrangement.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry about the delay in updating, I graduated college yesterday so I had kind of a busy weekend :). This chapter may need a little bit of tweaking I am not sure I stayed true to the characters, feel free to comment and tell me if it is unrealistic. Thank you for all the comments, and all the follows and I will be posting chapter 5 tomorrow. **

The pain was unbearable, excruciating really. Yet all he could think of was the kiss, her soft supple lips pressed against his, the way her skin felt smooth under his hand and the burning need he had to deepen it and make it count. He wanted desperately to mark her as his own, to make sure there was no doubt in her mind or anyone else just who's girl she was. "My girl", was a phrase he used a few times in the past, marking his ownership, once in front of Nell and Eric and another time in front of Kensi herself, and now he wanted her to know exactly how he felt, which is why he kissed her. No undercover assignment, no excuse to write it off as something else, just a deep passionate kiss laying claim to what had always been his and his alone.

So how could it go from the kiss that was sure to change their relationship and partnership forever to this kind of unbearable unmentionable pain? Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard them ask the question about Michelle 'Quinn', who she really was. He stuck to his story about being a narcotics detective. Claimed he didn't know who Sam was when he heard him go in the water and all he cared about was saving the life of some stranger. They weren't buying it; apparently Sam's cover had already been blown. Deeks thought back to that first case, when he was Jason Wyler and Sam was DeMarco Williams, he didn't know until the arrest he orchestrated that Sam was actually an agent. As a method actor detective he pulled on those memories hoping to sell Sidorov on his cover and convince him that he didn't know Sam was an agent, let alone who Quinn was.

He went back and forth between thinking about his cover and selling it to Sidorov and thinking about the kiss. Maybe that is where they went wrong. If he hadn't been distracted by the kiss then he would have noticed some key hint or subtle clue that Sam was in danger before they threw him into the pool. He could have avoided all of this if he had just been playing attention and not been distracted by his beautiful partner.

His beautiful partner. The thought echoed in his head, what if they had her. Sam had been made, they got both of them, and yeah they were asking about Quinn but that didn't mean that they hadn't grabbed her and Kensi. What if she was in some other room right now being tortured by Sidorov's henchmen. He imagined for a moment that they were violating her in the worst imaginable way and suddenly the pain he felt evaporated. All he could think, feel, imagine right now was getting lose, out smarting, out maneuvering his captors and escaping so that he could rescue his partner. They wouldn't hurt her, he could go through anything they could dish out just as long as they didn't hurt Kensi.

"Is Quinn an agent also" the jackass asked again.

At that moment he saw his chance, breaking lose, Deeks hauled off and hit Sidorov's man with everything he had. They must have thought that he would be too weak from the torture. The shocked look on the man's face gave Deeks ample time to continue his assault and fight his way free, he could see Sam hunched over in the next room and he went to help him. They had to find out if Michelle and Kensi were somewhere in here, the pain could wait all that mattered to Deeks was knowing his partner was safe.

Only he didn't break lose, he just passed out. The pain must have been so bad that his body couldn't take any more. Sidorov's man didn't know why right before Deeks passed out he screamed her name. He assumed that Kensi was Quinn's real name, that Quinn was an undercover agent and so he called Sidorov who instructed him that he was bringing Quinn down, they would test this theory about Quinn's real identity, she offered to shoot David in the head and if she went through with it and then shot the loud mouth detective it would prove that she wasn't an agent.

When Deeks came too he had a vague recollection of calling out Kensi's name and the shame over took him. He couldn't believe that the one person he cared for more than anyone in the world would be the one person he would give up in torture. They knew her name, they had left him alone, probably to go torture her. He was sure that Sidorov had grabbed Kensi and was torturing her now also. He couldn't see Sam through the window any more, for a moment he wondered if they had moved him to another location.

Pain was a funny thing, it could make you think things or do things that you would never have thought or done before. Deeks would have thought that there was no amount of pain in the world that would get him to give up his beautiful partners name, but now as he thought about it he was pretty sure he called out her name. Then again, he wondered as Sidorov's henchman left whether he said anything at all. Sam was across from him, looking sad and sullen as before, giving away nothing. Surely if he had screwed up that badly the older man's face would give it away, he would indicate to him that his days were numbered. Right behind giving away Michelle's identity Deeks was sure if he gave away Kensi or Callen, Sam's reaction would be the same, the younger man would suffer at Sam's hand if he made that fatal of a mistake. So watching his partner across the way neither of them being guarded at the moment he wondered if maybe he imagined calling out her name just as he imagined breaking lose and fighting off the guard.


	5. Chapter 5

They pulled up to an abandoned warehouse behind Michelle and Sidorov. Close enough that they could keep an eye on her but back far enough to avoid detection. Kensi had to psych herself up on the way over, convince herself that not only was Deeks still alive but that the damage done to him would not be permanent. She hadn't been tortured before, but she knew what people like Sidorov did to Agents, she knew what they did to cops.

Swat had time to meet up with them and follow Callen and Kensi out to the warehouse. They set up a perimeter and waited, praying that Michelle would be alright while they implemented a plan to rescue Sam and Deeks and of course get Michelle back out. So far she had seemingly convinced Sidorov that she was Quinn the assassin and not an agent, how far she would be able to go with the story. Kensi was sure that they only had a matter of minutes before Michelle's cover was blown also and at that point there would be no need to keep any of them alive, Sidorov would cut his losses, kill Sam, Deeks and Michelle and get out of town.

"Do we have sound on Michelle?" Callen asked Eric.

"Pulling it up now."

They shut off her communications when she was alone with Sidorov in the vehicle in case she was searched, they wouldn't detect the bug because it wouldn't be giving off a signal. Now turning it back on they hoped that Sidorov and his men didn't wait until getting to the warehouse to search her.

"Where is David?" She asked, from inside the door of the warehouse.

"Him and his partner are down here." Sidorov instructed.

"Are you sure we can trust her?" A male Russian voice asked.

"She has come to prove her value, she is going to put a bullet in David's head and in his partners."Sidorov explained, "have they given up any information?"

Kensi didn't know why but she held her breath praying that what ever torture they had been through neither Sam nor Deeks had cracked.

"The blond keeps muttering something about Monty, I think it is just supposed to throw us off though."

"Maybe Monty is one of their colleagues."

"Every time I asked if Quinn was an agent he said the name Monty."

"Then Monty must be his contact."

"Inside our organization?"

"Perhaps, Quinn is sure that there is someone else."

Kensi had to let out laugh, Callen looked at her and he had a small smirk on his face. Leave it to Deeks to start talking about his dog when he was being tortured.

"Right before he passed out he screamed the name Monty, as though he thought whoever it was would come save him."

Quinn thinking quickly suggested "Perhaps Monty is David's real name, David may just be a cover."

The story seemed to work because Sidorov and the Russian got quiet and a moment later they could be heard walking down the hallway.

"We've got a visual, they are being held toward the west side of the building. I have heat sources in two rooms, looks like they aren't being guarded right now." Eric's voice came over comms.

"If we can cause a disturbance around the front, get Michelle and Sidorov back up here, swat can go in through the west side and get Sam and Deeks out," Callen suggested.

"We are in place agent Callen."

"We better get to causing that disturbance than before Michelle gets to them." Kensi suggested, making her way to the entrance that Michelle and Sidorov just went through.

"Are you going to just wing it?" Callen asked, reaching for Kensi's arm. She tugged free and rushed to the door, as loudly as possible she began shouting.

"I don't care if it looks abandoned there is a vehicle here obviously there is someone here and they aren't as stupid as you, they probably even have a gas can." Her voice held a gravely pitch almost as though she were near tears, then banging as loudly as she could on the door she continued her rant about gas and how if Callen were a real man he would have never let this happen.

"It's working Kensi keep it up, you have three approaching from the direction that Sidorov and Michelle were headed in and by the sound of it its going to be them and the Russian." Eric said.

Sidorov pushed the door open, before he could speak Kensi let it fly, "Its about time, my idiot boyfriend ran out of gas can you run us up to the local station?" She was cut short by the Russian leveling a gun at her head.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"Shit man, just someone dumb enough to date this loser, can you believe he ran us out of gas out here. Come one man I don't mean any harm by it, can't you just help us get gas and we'll forget we ever came out here."

The swat was ready to go in, Callen had to give the signal, first he had to subdue the Russian who was pointing a gun at Kensi and hope that Michelle had Sidorov. Luckily, Kensi's rant was working the Russian was thrown off enough by it, that Callen was able to make his move, with one signal from Callen Michelle moved at the same time and in short order they had subdued both Sidorov and the Russian. "Go" Called Callen.


	6. Chapter 6

Swat went in the west side of the building while Sidorov and the Russian were brought to the ground by Michelle and Callen. Kensi moved around them and entered through the east side she didn't wait for the all clear call from Swat or Eric she had to find Deeks, and she knew enough to know that Swat would be on edge and could take a shot at her not realizing it. Through the comms she heard Callen warn Swat, Hetty and Eric that Kensi had broken protocol. She didn't care, her mission was single-minded, this would but a black mark on her record but she had to find him nothing else mattered.

"We've secured Agent Hanna." Swat Leader McMahon said.

"He's in the room on the right." Eric said, guiding Kensi from ops. She made it to Deeks before the Swat team moved from Sam's location to Deeks. Dropping to her knees in front of him she immediately set to removing his bonds and the piece of metal protruding from his mouth. Tears started streaking down Deeks face.

"I am sorry." He mumbled through the metal as Kensi tried to work it free, a hand came to rest on her shoulder, the Swat leader pulling her away.

"We've got an ambulance on the way Agent Blye, let the medics handle this."

Deeks kept repeating he was sorry, and Kensi wanted to stay right next to him but the Swat leader was pulling her away and at the same time medics were entering the building. She didn't care about Sam's injuries, part of her knew she should. He was probably just as bad if not worse than Deeks. But Sam had Michelle, and so Kensi stayed, finally backing up enough to allow the medics to do their work but when Deeks was secure on the gurney she got close again, taking his bruised and battered hand in her own and staying with him all the way to the ambulance. Eric was talking in her ear giving instructions, Callen said something also and finally Hetty, it all went unnoticed as she stared in horror at her partners bruised and battered face.

"It's okay, you are going to be okay." She said, hoping that it wasn't a lie.

The ride to the hospital was difficult on Kensi, the medics wouldn't allow her to ride in the ambulance with Deeks and it required Callen and the Swat leader together to pull her free so that the ambulance could take him to the hospital.

"I'll take you to the hospital." Callen said, trying to calm Kensi "He is alive, he is going to be okay and we will be right behind the ambulance. They need to have room for Sam and Deeks though."

She knew that she wasn't being reasonable, that she was letting her emotions dictate her actions and that Hetty was going to reprimand her when they returned to ops, but now she had this overwhelming desire to be with Deeks to know he was okay and feel him close to her.

"Sam and Michelle were the same way, that is why Michelle left the CIA after they got married." Callen explained in the car ride on the way to the hospital.

"What way is that?" Kensi asked.

"Throwing caution to the wind, not following protocol. Much of what you did today."

"Deeks is just my partner."

"Don't lie to me Kens, we've been family too long for that. I know that Deeks is more than your partner, and that you have had feelings for him for a long time."

"I don't know how I feel about Deeks every time we get close to talking about our feelings or what is going on between us something happens."

"Like at the armory."

"What happened at the armory?" Kensi asked.

"When you and Deeks were talking right before we left for Iran."

"We were talking; I don't know I wanted him to tell me how he felt so we could move past this dance."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, you came in and the conversation ended."

"Something's changed Kens. A week ago you wouldn't have acted as recklessly as you did today."

Did she tell Callen, he didn't seem to know about the kiss. She had no doubt that the others knew. Still she wasn't sure that she could explain to Callen that they had kissed and suddenly everything was different.

"Whatever the reason is, figure it out before Hetty decides you and Deeks do not need to work together any more."

"What do you think she is going to do."

"I do not know, I do not think that Deeks needs to leave us though and if you do not pull it together if Hetty doesn't think you can work together he could very well go back to being just a Detective."

"There are no rules about partners being involved in a relationship" Kensi argued.

"That depends on who you ask. Do you remember Agent Gibbs?" She did vaguely, she knew he was a friend of Callens that he came out a few years ago, to work on a case right before Callen was shot. "He has these rules, one of them rule 12 involves agents dating. In some cases I think that we should institute these rules."

"Then I guess it is a good thing Deeks isn't an agent." Kensi said, confirming in Callen's mind that she had every intention of pursuing a relationship with the Detective to matter the cost.

"Kensi, I am just asking you to figure things out and then figure out a way to work together without putting the rest of the team in danger." Callen warned.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry for the long delay in updating. I also want to apologize for the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes in earlier chapters and I hope that there aren't any in this chapter. I will be going back to fix the earlier mistakes and hopefully updating again this week. Thank you for all the follows, reviews, comments, and PM. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. **

Deeks went into surgery and Kensi waited alone in the hallway. After giving her his best figure it out speech Callen figured she needed some time alone to do just that. This whole mess was his fault, if he hadn't trusted Janvier, if he hadn't gotten Janvier from Iran Deeks and Sam would be okay. He was slipping; Callen didn't used to make mistakes like this. The lecture for Kensi to figure things out was partially on him as well, he needed to figure some stuff out. For example why was he letting his whole team down, two of the team almost got killed, as much as Kensi's head wasn't in the game, and Callen couldn't blame her, his wasn't either.

She rested against the wall in the hallway, cradling his badge in her hand. In some ways Kensi wondered if this is what it felt like to be the wife of a police officer. She was praying desperately for him to be okay, her thumb absentmindedly running over the badge. At some point in the silence Hetty joined her. Kensi figured she was in for another speech, another lecture about getting her act together. She didn't care. The agency was her life, until she met Deeks. Being a federal agent was all that Kensi Blye had worked for, strived for, for so long. It came before every relationship, every other aspect of her life, until that day he walked in. Now suddenly there was something that came above the agency. She could see a life after being a federal agent. She could see a life other than being a federal agent. NCIS was still important in her life, but standing there waiting for Hetty's lecture she realized that it no longer came in first. Deeks did, he was now her first, and NCIS might come in second, for now at least.

"I am glad he made his move." Hetty said.

"Excuse me?"

"I am glad that Mr. Deeks finally at least kissed you, although I was kind of hoping he would tell you he loved you first and go from there."

"Hetty, I am not sure…"

"I know Mr. Deeks kissed you, Eric and Nell saw it play out on the camera in ops, they didn't want to tell me but when he went missing they thought it was best. I am glad he had a chance to tell you how he felt or at least show you how he felt, if he doesn't come out of this you will have that."

"Hetty he has to come out of this." Kensi said desperately, "I do not know what I would do if he didn't."

"You should prepare yourself then, his injuries were extensive."

After that Hetty fell silent, standing beside the junior agent for comfort. She knew about Callen's lecture, and she knew that if it came down to separating Deeks and Kensi, even at the Directors request that she would lose one of the best agents she had and lose the possibility of another great agent. Besides all that mattered now was Deeks coming out of surgery.

Sam's injuries were not as bad as the young Detectives. Sam, the trained SEAL knew how to withstand interrogation, and it seemed that Siderov believed Deeks to be the weaker of the two. He focused most of his wrath on the young Detective leaving Deeks with extensive injuries to Sam's more mild ones. Hetty would visit Sam later, when he was awake and Michelle went home to sleep. For now though she felt her place was with Kensi waiting for news from the Doctors about the young Detectives condition and whether he would make it.

Eight hours after Deeks was admitted to the hospital a Doctor finally came out to talk to the ladies waiting in the hallway.

"Detective Deeks sustained a great deal of injuries. When we began operating there was fluid built up on his brain, we were able to relieve that and now it is just a matter of waiting. He is in a coma at this point, I cannot tell you whether he will wake up, and until he does I cannot tell you the extent of the damage done." She said.

"He spoke to me when we found him." Kensi said.

"Well that could be a good sign, unfortunately though it is still a waiting game until he wakes up." The Doctor tried to sound reassuring.

"When can I see him?" Kensi asked.

"He is in recovery right now; a nurse will come and get you when he is moved in the ICU. I believe their policy is only one visitor at a time and it has to be his emergency contact or next of kin." The Doctor said.

"That is fine, I am his emergency contact and this is his next of kin, though I do not know if they updated his information from the last time he was in the hospital." Hetty said.

"Well you can talk to someone at admissions to find out." The Doctor suggested.

As she walked away, Hetty reached out and took Kensi's arm, "Let's go make sure that his information is updated so that we can see him when he gets out of recovery."

Kensi wanted to ask the older lady if she could do that herself, she didn't want to leave the hallway in case the Nurse came out with information. Still she knew that Hetty was right, she had been standing virtually in the same spot for eight hours, stretching her legs and clearing the cobwebs from her brain would be a good thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I know I need to go back and do some minor editing of mistakes in earlier chapters, and I am hopeful that there are no mistakes in this chapter. I will admit that this one might be a little corny, but I wasn't sure how to write about a poor abused Deeks in the hospital and seeing as how the new season is still a few weeks off and we aren't sure about the damage done to him I hope I give this justice. As always your reviews brighten my day and comments are always taken seriously. I hope you enjoy. **

After speaking with someone from admitting, Kensi went to the waiting room outside the ICU, she was told that someone would get her when Deeks had been put in the room and in her stealth like ninja way Hetty had extracted herself from the situation. She knew she would need to see Mr. Deeks at some point, right now though it was more important for Kensi to see and spend time with him.

Kensi wasn't sure when Callen had entered the waiting room, all she knew was the longer it took Deeks to come out of recovery and into the ICU the more she became convinced that he wasn't going to recover at all.

"I am sorry for the harsh words." Callen told the younger agent.

"What if he doesn't recover?"

She hadn't spoken her concerns out loud, as though giving voice to them could make them come true. She worried that simply by thinking he might not make it she was giving up on him, on them.

"Kens, with all that you have seen and been through you deserve happiness. He will get better, I am sure, because if anyone deserves to be together it is you too."

"What about Granger, what about regulations?"

"Do you really think Hetty is going to let a few regulations mess up one of the best teams out there?" Callen paused, "I would caution you though he has been through a very traumatic event it might be harder for him than it was before to be open and honest about how he feels."

The whole team knew, Sam and Callen especially about the special bond that Kensi and Deeks shared. Sam knew, from personal experience the danger of falling in love with a co-worker and had confided in Callen that if Deeks was anything like himself, he would convince Kensi to leave the agency. This was Sam's biggest fear, that while they might be happy it would mean losing a great team which only added to his dislike of the young man. Sam secretly blamed himself for ruining his wife's career with the CIA and could see that Deeks would probably do the same for Kensi's career with NCIS. The only difference being Kensi wasn't Michelle and even more so Deeks wasn't Sam. They may have had a great deal of affection for one another, and Sam could have been right that Deeks fell in love as soon as he met Kensi. But Callen had a feeling that their emotions aside they were both professionals and at the end of the day Deeks respected Kensi enough that he would never ask her to leave NCIS. If she were to quit it would be on her own and not because of anyone especially Deeks.

"Ms. Blye, he is in the room now" the nurse said interrupting the two friends.

"I'll be out here if you need me" Callen said when Kensi stood up.

She wasn't prepared for entering his room. Machines monitored his heart, brain, and lungs. There was a tube down his throat and he was covered in bruises and burns. They had shocked, beaten, cut, and broken him down trying to find out their information. He was missing teeth, and marks from the electrocution he suffered, and appeared the shell of a man that Kensi had known.

There had been other times when she visited him in the hospital, when he was shot by the robbers, she remembered being just as scared. This time was only slightly different, the lingering feel of his kiss on her lips reminding her of the potential that wasn't really there anymore. Callen was right, even if he recovered the physical and emotional damage had been done. Kensi wondered what kind of man would be coming back to her. Images of Jack flashed in her mind, the PTSD, the medication, and the eventual disappearance of the one man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. Could she go through all of that again? Deeks wasn't Jack; he was the antithesis of Jack. Where Jack was clean cut, shaven, marine through and through Deeks had an almost vulgar look about him that most of the time was neither clean cut nor shaven. He was no way a marine, and in most ways more than that. He was a better man than Jack because even through everything that Kensi had put him through he never left her side. He was unwavering in his loyalty toward her and the rest of the team, his now broken and bruised body a testament to that fact. Where other men would have crumbled and failed Deeks stayed strong, she hoped that even if in this she lost him that it would at least change Sam's perspective.

Reaching over Kensi took his hand, and then whispered softly almost afraid that he would in fact hear her and wake up, "I love you Marty, I have always loved you and no matter what I am going to stay by your side."


	9. Chapter 9

"Kensi, I am sorry. I am so sorry." The mumbled words woke Kensi in the middle of the night. At first she wasn't sure where they came from. Fear gripped her heart as she worried that they didn't come from her partner, silence ensued, and for a moment she was sure that she imagined him speaking. Then all of a sudden, "Kensi I am sorry. I didn't mean too." Came out again, this time clear as day, he kept repeating the phrase.

Kensi sprung up and hit the call button for the nurses' station, his eyes were still closed but it was unmistakable that he was speaking, mumbling really, apology after apology. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it tight.

"Talk to me Deeks, open your eyes." She commanded as the nurse came in, he just kept mumbling the apology.

"I am going to page the Doctor." The nurse said leaving the room.

"Please Marty, open your eyes and talk to me." Kensi whispered.

The mumbled apology continued over and over again until the Doctor entered the room. It was hard to make out what he was saying, but Kensi knew he was saying her name, he was saying he was sorry.

"Ma'am I am going to have to ask you to step outside while I examine Mr. Deeks." The Doctor said.

Kensi nodded but didn't move at first. The nurse reached over and took her by the shoulders then guided her out of the room. She was in a state of shock, if he was speaking it had to be a good sign. He had to be coming out of it but what was he apologizing for? Her heart raised she feared that he knew he was dying and he was saying sorry for breaking the promise. Kensi walked mindlessly down to the waiting room only to find Nell and Eric sitting in there.

"What happened?" Nell asked jumping up when Kensi came in the room.

"He started mumbling, the Doctor is examining him now." Kensi said.

"You should go home and get some rest," Eric suggested, only to get glaring looks from both women.

"I was resting, when he started talking." Kensi said.

"What did he say?" Nell asked.

"He just kept apologizing to me for something I am not sure."

"I am sure this is a good sign, I am sure that he is going to be okay." Nell said trying to make her friend look better.

"Did Callen and Hetty go home?" She asked

"I think Callen is with Sam. I am not sure where Hetty went." Eric said.

"Will you find them and tell them that he is talking?" Kensi asked.

"Shouldn't we make sure first?" Eric asked, earning him another glare from the women. Opting to leave before they got violent Eric went in search of Hetty or at least Callen.

"Ms. Blye, you can come back into the room now." The nurse said sticking her head into the waiting room.

Nervous about what she would find she went back down to the room Kensi hesitated for a moment. She wished Eric was back with Hetty. "I'll send them down as soon as he gets back." Nell said as though she could read Kensi's thoughts.

The Doctor was standing beside Deeks when Kensi walked in, he had a clipboard in hand and was checking vitals.

"Your partner is in and out of consciousness, he isn't coherent but it is a good sign. I am still not sure how much of a recovery he will make. What he will remember or the extent of the damage but the fact that he is talking is a positive sign.

"Is there anything that I can do?" Kensi asked.

"Talk to him, I believe he can hear you. Other than that and praying I don't know that there is anything we can do but wait." The doctor said, he rested a hand on Kensi's shoulder. "I know this is a trying ordeal for you to go through, and I wish I could give you more than that but it is still very much a waiting game at this point."

Deeks started mumbling again, and Kensi took his hand.

"It's okay Marty I am here. I am not going anywhere." She squeezed his hand, and ran a thumb over his knuckles, "we still have a lot of talking to do. I really like the way you communicate though, and wouldn't mind a little more communication."

The doctor gave her a funny look, not knowing what she was talking about and wondered for a moment if she needed to be checked out as well. He was brought out of his revere by the voice in the doorway.

"It is nothing to be worried about Doctor, just a little code word they came up with." Hetty explained. "How is he doing?"

"Let's talk outside." The doctor said.

Hetty nodded and turned to walk out with the Doctor, both wanting to give Kensi some time alone, she didn't seem to be aware that either one was there; instead she kept talking in hushed tones. Her quiet mumblings became pleads for him to open his eyes, to remember that moment outside the compound before everything went to hell. To remember what the kiss felt like, she knew he had to have felt the same spark that she did, the same thing that reached down to her soul. The kiss may have been brief but it spoke volumes, and alluded to feelings that they had both kept in the dark for so long.


End file.
